I grew up going to church and doing ‘Christian things’ but I always struggled with loneliness and intimacy.
I wanted to feel close to people, I wanted to feel safe. I tried to find this in pornography, it didn’t satisfy. I tried to find it in sex, it didn’t satisfy. I tried to find this is having a good time – whatever I felt would make me happy, it never lasted long. I tried to find security in my uni work, but I could never be good enough. The more I tried, the lonelier I got. This resulted in deep depression. Nothing satisfied.
I knew I needed something more. I was stuck for what to do. I had looked inwards and outwards; I hadn’t looked upwards. I asked God to help me, I asked Him to show me what to do. He said I needed Him. A real relationship, with the real God. Through Jesus I’ve been able to have that. He loves me unconditionally and He loves me unrelentingly. I don’t deserve it, but that’s how much He loves me. It hasn’t been easy, and nothing changed over night. I’m not perfect, but when I am weak, He is strong.